Holy Audacity

For those of us on a spiritual path, despite the fact that we’ve been studying and making our connections, we believe there are just some things we cannot change. We all have a wall, a barrier we cannot push beyond. And yet the truth is, as Rav Ashlag often said, our spiritual work is not to push ourselves to the limit of our abilities. It is to push beyond our abilities.

Beyond our abilities. How do we achieve that? How do we do what we can’t do and draw what we don’t deserve? There is a way. It’s through what the Kabbalists call “holy audacity,” meaning when we have a desire to become stronger and a drive to create real change in our lives and in the world, we can awaken that strength even if we do not think it exists within us. When it’s for the sake of sharing with others, not only do we have to, but we must push against the barriers of our capabilities.

There’s a beautiful story in the kabbalistic literature that speaks to this idea. During the time the Holy Temple stood in Jerusalem, three times a year people would travel there from all over the world in order to make their spiritual connections. One such time there was a great water shortage, and the influx of visitors put a terrible strain on the water supply.

To avert a health crisis, a man by the name of Nakdimon responded by approaching one of the wealthiest landowners in the city and asked him to loan him water from 12 of his wells, with the promise of repayment at a later date in either the exact amount of water borrowed or 12 loaves of silver. The landowner agreed and the crisis was averted.

The months passed, and when the day for repayment arrived, Nakdimon could not give back the water because not a drop of rain had fallen in months. That morning, a messenger arrived at his door, demanding either the water or the silver. He responded, “I have all day to repay you. If it doesn’t rain by the end of the day, I will repay you in silver.”

In the afternoon a messenger arrived again at his door with the same message, and he sent back the same response. As the sun was about to set, the messenger returned yet again and was told the same thing, the day is not yet over.

Upon hearing this final response, the landowner laughed because he knew it was impossible for that much rain to fall in such a short period of time. He felt so elated that he went into the local bathhouse to freshen up before he met with Nakdimon to retrieve his money.

Meanwhile, Nakdimon was sad, and he went into the temple where he began to pray. His prayer was short. “I did not borrow water from those 12 wells for myself,” he told the Creator, “I did it only for the sake of sharing.” That’s was his entire prayer.

Immediately afterwards, the sky became full of clouds and rain came pouring down. It rained so hard in those few minutes that not only did the 12 wells become full of water, but there was an overflow of water.

As he left the temple, he saw the landowner and said to him, “Now you owe me money! Because of the overflow of water, I’ve paid you back too much.”

The landowner responded, “I know the only reason it rained is because the Creator wanted to make this miracle for you. But in truth, if I wanted to argue with you, I could, because if you look up in the sky, it’s dark. Maybe it’s already nightfall, and this rain really came on the next day, after nightfall, and therefore it’s not your water. It’s my water.”

Upon hearing this, Nakdimon turned around and went back into the temple where he prayed another short prayer to the Creator: “Master of the World, let it be known that you have people in this world that are close to You.” That was his entire prayer.

Immediately the clouds dispersed, and the sun resumed shining.

What’s powerful about this story is that in both prayers Nakdimon didn’t beg or plead with the Creator. He simply asserted what needed to happen. He did not earn these miracles, nor was he a great scholar or a spiritual giant. And yet, because his singular purpose was for the sake of others, he went in with this audacity, and he requested in short terms what he wanted to happen. And it happened.

Of course, not everyone is at the level where they can ask for the skies to open. Yet, the purpose of this story is to teach us the importance of living this consciousness of assertiveness, provided that our singular aim is the welfare of others. We are each meant to aspire to reach this place where, because our lives are so dedicated to elevating others, we can utilize this tool of holy audacity.

This week, live with audacity! Remember that you can ask for more than you have earned or deserve. But it’s more than just asking – it’s living in this consciousness. If you are going to do something that involves assisting others, don’t hope for it to turn out well. Insist that it does. Push beyond your personal boundaries of what you think you can do and what you think you deserve. Because as long as you are focusing on drawing these abilities for the sake of sharing, you can ask for everything.

You Won’t Remember This Either

For anybody who is a parent, this video by Jeff Sher will awaken all kinds of memories and emotions. I can completely relate to his feelings when he writes:

“What continues to amaze me about parenting is how it simultaneously expands and condenses time. The days can seem long, but the months fly by. The kids seem to get older in spurts. One day you notice that he isn’t the same guy he was two weeks ago, he’s someone older and new, but he still wants you to unwrap his cheese stick.

It’s hard to believe they won’t remember any of this in their rush to grow up, but I know they won’t. This film is a collection of fleeting glimpses and little moments that would otherwise escape forever.”

Enjoy.

I Love You

What is love? Most of us feel it – or have felt it – and yet, what we think of as love and what is true love might not be the same thing. In fact, they may even be complete opposites.

At its core, when we refer to love, it is often rooted in self-love. This can be clarified with a parable. A man walks into a restaurant. The waiter asks him what he would like, and he responds, “I love fish!” Naturally, the choicest fish is filleted, cooked, and served up on a nice plate. The man then proceeds to chew and swallow the entire thing.

Is this how one treats something he loves?

The story sounds simple, and yet it reveals a profound lesson. For many of us, when we say, “I love you,” it is really the “I” that we love. We love what we get from people or things. They are all extensions of our ego’s selfishness.

Think about the many relationships in our lives. How many of them are focused on what we get rather than what we give? If we are honest with ourselves, then we will see that what we view as love is often seen in terms of what we receive from the relationship, be it emotional or physical. We love people who give to us, and we view loving relationships as ones in which our friends and spouses give us something. And while it is true that in any relationship one needs to be receiving, it cannot be solely based on that.

The more important basis of a relationship is giving.

Kabbalistically, a true relationship is when one enjoys the sharing more than the receiving. That’s true love. This means that my love for another person awakens within me a greater joy of giving to rather than receiving from them. True love is when my connection towards another person - and the love I feel for that person - makes it as enjoyable and fulfilling to share with him or her as it is to receive from that person.

When viewed in this way, how many of our relationships are truly based on love for the other person where our desire to share is greater than our desire to receive?

This isn’t simply an interesting concept. It is also the key to a sustainable, growing relationship - one that’s destined to last. Life – and the blessings in our lives, including our relationships – is sustained by the Light of the Creator. The way to bring more of the Light into our relationships is to maintain constant appreciation and a desire to impart. This is what keeps our love alive and growing.

However, the opposite is true as well. Love founded on “what can I get?” will always crumble because it is not bringing in the Light of the Creator which can sustain it. When we work and focus our relationships on sharing more than receiving, we bring the Light into them so they can truly grow and last forever.

This week assess your relationships and decide which ones you want to make last. Now that you are clear on what the deciding forces are, put what you’ve learned into action by awakening a greater desire to find little and big ways to share with your spouse, lover, kids, siblings, and friends. Do this knowing it will bring the Light of the Creator into your loving bonds, thereby making them strong, sustainable, and ever-lasting.