Curves in the Road

One of my favorite quotes from my father, the Rav, is: our goal in life is to leave this world a different person than the way we entered. This is, in a nutshell, the kabbalistic view of life - it’s about constant change and growth.

One of the ways we are assisted in achieving this purpose is by being pushed in a different direction than we set for ourselves – or being pushed off it altogether. In the course of our lives, we set important goals that we work towards completing. But the Rav is teaching us that what really counts is that we are changed in the process of attaining our goals.

It’s about the journey – not the destination.

Yes, goals are essential, for without them we would be directionless. However, their achievement is not why we were born. We were born to change. But, oftentimes the moment something gets in the way of our plans, we become disappointed.

A new way of viewing this is that there is a greater process at work that is constantly working to assist us in our personal process of change. It’s about shifting our consciousness and enjoying the process. To better understand this, we can use the example of Abraham, who most of us know as the first person to come to an understanding of the Creator, on his own. When God first communicates to Abraham, it is to tell him,

“Go from your house, go from where you were born, and go to a place I will show you.”

The Kabbalists ask an important question, “Why doesn’t God tell Abraham where he’s going?”

In this question we find the first message given to Abraham: if you are going to accomplish your mission in this world, you must know it’s not about where you are going, but about the changes you go through in order to get there.

Another deeper concept is that it’s safe to assume most of us want to get beyond the place where we are now. We want to be better, more fulfilled, more conscious and aware. Yet, this place we are striving towards is beyond us, so how can we see it? We can’t. It is a logical fallacy.

Therefore, the Creator is teaching Abraham - and all humanity - that the basis of all our spiritual work, our purpose, will only become manifest when we go through a process that is sometimes lacking in clarity, a process we don’t always understand, a process that to our mind takes us off the goals we want to accomplish.

The change we have to go through during the process is what’s most important.

In my own life, teachers sometimes share with me their frustration at not reaching as many people as they had hoped to reach. I remind them that while we need goals, our uppermost desire is the change that will come from the process, not the goals themselves.

When we truly internalize this idea, the complications that contort the straight path we had hoped to continue upon won’t upset us. In fact, we will embrace them.

There is a beautiful verse from Isaiah: “those who walk in darkness will see the great light.” What this wonderful line teaches us is that the road of life is often difficult and dark, and at times we can feel like we are completely off the path. And yet, paradoxically, it is the process of pushing - despite lacking clarity - that will give us clarity and bring us closer to seeing great blessings in our lives.

To truly internalize this teaching, when your plans and goals are derailed or interrupted, instead of being crushed and filled with doubt, get excited about it and continue pushing. Continue asking where you can reveal Light and become aware that life is leading you through this because it is the best way for you to change and reveal your potential, now.

Trust the process. Know that what happens to you through the challenges, changes and curves on the road to your goal is the goal.

Why Relationships Work

I would like to share with you an article of mine about relationships that is now on my friend Gwyneth Paltrow’s website, GOOP. I hope it inspires you.

“Logic dictates that long term relationships are not the natural order of things. When you bring two egos together, naturally they will clash. No wonder the divorce rate is so high…” Click HERE
to read more.

MOVE ASIDE!

This week’s message is a little longer than usual because the idea is a little more complicated.


Moses, and all the spiritual giants of history, held in their hands the power to push aside all forms of judgment - pain, illness, sadness - both from their own lives and from the lives of others.

Every single one of us is meant to achieve this ability in our lifetime; to come to the level where we have control over judgment, where we can say “MOVE ASIDE!” to any judgment that befalls us or those around us. And by judgment the Kabbalists are referring to ill-health, poverty, misery, and all forms of chaos.

This is one of the most important goals of our lives.

I know many reading this are thinking that this does not apply to them, but rather only to the chosen few righteous people in our generation. Yet, according to the Zohar, this is what makes our current generation more unique than any other that has preceded it for thousands of years. It is written that as we come close to the end of the correction, we will all possess the power to heal and remove judgment - at will.

Before I explain practically how to strive and grow towards this level in our daily lives, we need to understand and believe (believe isn’t the right word - complete certainty) that we can, and eventually will in this lifetime, come to this point where we can push aside judgment. Everything begins with consciousness. When we have the desire (vessel) for this power - and the certainty that we can achieve it - we will have it.

We need to know that it is within our potential to come to this point.

There is a famous story in the Zohar about one of the students of Rav Shimon who was about to die. It is written that Rav Shimon saw the Angel of Death dancing in front of his student and he, bound the Angel of Death, and saved the man’s life. Rav Shimon held this power in his hands. We too are meant to wield this power.

True, most of us are not there yet, but we must first have the clarity that we can come to this level. All of us, and not just the chosen few. Once we can wrap our minds around this truth, then the work begins. And it is as follows.

Each one of us has within our lives two opposing forces. The soul, referred to by Kabbalah as the desire to share, mercy, or the right column - and the body, referred to as the desire to receive for the self alone, judgment or the left column. Every day of our lives we are faced with countless decisions as to which force we will follow.

When someone provokes us and we react in anger, we have chosen to follow the desire to receive. That choice then decrees that left rules over right, judgment over mercy, body over soul. When we react with patience and tolerance, we have chosen to follow the desire to share, and that choice decrees that right rules over left, mercy over judgment, soul over body.

Moments later, a challenging situation arises and we react in desperation. Again, we have chosen to follow the desire to receive. That choice decrees that left rules over right, judgment over mercy, and so on. But if we react with certainty that there is opportunity in calamity, then the opposite occurs and right rules over left, mercy over judgment, and so on.

And so our day goes, endless choices as to which force we will follow. Naturally, we view these individual decisions as insignificant, even meaningless. And yet they are anything but, for the majority of these decisions determine the type of person we are and the type of influence we can have in our own lives - and in the lives of others.

When we are consistent - not perfect, but consistent - in choosing mercy over judgment, right over left, soul over body, the Creator says, “you are a person in this world who makes right rule over left and therefore you can exercise this power to control any judgments that come into your life, the lives of your loved ones, and into the world at large.”

Review your past week, month, year - how many decisions have you made where you allowed anger to rule over love, jealousy over appreciation, vengeance over forgiveness?

Especially in the remaining moments of Elul, when the power to see the truth is clearer than at any other time of year, think about all the times you chose judgment. This is not about “doing the right thing” or being “a spiritual person.” This is about knowing that going forward, when you need the power to remove judgments from your life and the lives of others, you want that power to be there, in your hands.

This is an entirely new way to view our lives. When we push ourselves to share when we don’t want to especially with someone we strongly dislike,) when we push ourselves to have certainty in the face of confusion (especially when our back is against the wall,) when we push ourselves to exercise human dignity when faced with intolerance (especially when it is directed at our loved ones,) we will have the power to tell any judgment, “MOVE ASIDE!”

I know for myself this understanding changes my decision process in the midst of the challenges I face every day - both physical and spiritual. And I trust for you, the reader, it will do the same. Now that you know the spiritual logic, it is my intention that you will have more desire to push down on anger, disappointment, sadness, selfishness - and all the attributes of the judgment / body / left column.

As you learn to do this on a consistent basis - again, not perfect, but consistent - you will come to posses the power to say “MOVE ASIDE!” to sickness, lack, misery, insecurity - and all forms of judgment - both in your own life and in the lives of those surrounding you.

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